A smooth-faced century
ISSUE NO. 8 // TERRIFIC TAFTSTACHES AND MORE
It’s been more than 100 years since we’ve had a president with facial hair.
President Taft’s ‘stache (his Taftstache, if you will) was the last bit in a long line of bewhiskered POTUSes. Isn’t that bizarre?
If this makes you as curious as it made me, keep scrolling. Take a peek inside my book for a color-coded timeline and check out the Presidential Facial Hair Power Ranking, as selected by a bearded acquaintance of mine.
But first, a little history…
Way back when, consensus was that beards were healthy. Rich British guys believed shaving to be “a most peculiar activity.”
Then King Camp Gillette (with his fancy name) invented the disposable razor blade.
Hygiene theory gained popularity and beards were believed to be full of “misanthropic microbes.”
During the Civil War, soldiers lacked the time and motivation to shave. But by WWI, soldiers had no choice. A smooth face allowed a snug fit for their gas masks.
Lenin, Trotsky, Marx, and Engles all sported facial hair and they were dictators, commies, and revolutionaries, so obviously if you have facial hair you are also.* You best shave! (If you want to be president.)
Let’s get on with it!
Presidential Doodler
The doodle above and below (about Cleveland’s famous ‘stache) are from The President Is a Sick Man: Wherein the Supposedly Virtuous Grover Cleveland Survives a Secret Surgery at Sea and Vilifies the Courageous Newspaperman Who Dared Expose the Truth, by Matt Algeo. Definitely in my Top 2 for presidential book titles. (Any guesses on the other?) Also a fascinating read.
Shout out to The Grover Cleveland Art Appreciation Society for sending me a copy.
*Not all dictators or those with dictatorial tendencies (or career goals) have facial hair. I’m sure you know that. But pointing out juuuuust in case.
David Filkins is my acquaintance and a self-proclaimed Beard Pro. Self-proclaimed because there’s no such thing as a Beard Pro. If there were, he would totally be one. Probably. The longest he’s grown a beard is 18 months. Strangers have said he looks like Hagrid more times than he can count. Or maybe they’re saying he looks haggard. He’s not sure. Regardless, his rankings and comments are below.
PRESIDENTIAL FACIAL HAIR POWER RANKING
#5: WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT
A board game character made the handlebar mustache famous. So did a professional wrestler, a Wild West lawman, and a potato crisp mascot. But only one man carried this eccentric ‘stache style straight to the highest seat in the land. It’s been 109 years since Taft left office, and not a single president has had facial hair since. Some say it went out of style after Taft. Or maybe he just set the bar too high.
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#4: RUTHERFORD B. HAYES
Like wheels on a pickup truck, when it came to his beard, Hayes seemed to live by the motto that bigger truly is better. Sheer beard bulk is what earns him a spot on this list. James Garfield, who followed Hayes as president, had an equally impressive mane, but Hayes did it first and did it longer, as Garfield was assassinated less than seven months into his term (presumably not because of his amazing beard).
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#3: ULYSSES S. GRANT
Masculine yet stylish, rugged yet refined. Many adjectives can be used to describe Grant’s beard, but none are more appropriate than this: timeless. The same beard that made Grant a stately president and Civil War hero also propelled Russell Crowe to multiple Sexiest Man Alive honors more than a century later. To sport such a beard is to personify excellence.
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#2: THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Many men have worn a Teddy-esque ‘stache. Many have worn it well. But none have worn it better. By today’s style standards, the simple, standalone ‘stache is a mistake 11 times out of 10. On Teddy, however, it conveyed the strength and confidence of a man who ran a cattle ranch and led an Amazon expedition when he wasn’t busy running the country.
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#1: ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Highlighted by an unkempt patch of hair on his chin, Lincoln’s beard was not world class on its own merits. Worn by any other man, it would beg for a straight razor and a fresh start. Yet what do you get when you place it on Lincoln? Oh, just the most iconic facial hair in American history. Proof that the beard does not make the man; the man makes the beard.
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