12 reasons not to subscribe to my email newsletter

The POTUS Notice overflows with doodles, presidential trivia, terrible puns, and more. But is it really for you? Maybe not.

Here are 12 signs that you shouldn’t subscribe:

1. It’s free, but you prefer paying for things.

   If that’s the case, maybe head over to my store instead.

2. Why subscribe when you can read the blogs without worrying about receiving any fun surprises in the mail?

3. Weekly or daily emails are preferrable to monthly emails.

   You want to drown under emails, not have them politely appear on a regular but non-threatening cadence. The POTUS Notice is not for you.

4. You’ve looked through my stuff and there isn’t a single post about doing taxes or watching paint dry.

5. You believe sharing means caring, but I don’t sell or share my subscribers’ contact info.

6. You are sophisticated and cultured and can’t stomach my immature content.

7. Venn diagrams make you sad.

8. Free POTUS or FLOTUS trading card?! Pass. You only collect Pokémon cards.

9. An old thumb injury makes scrolling difficult.

   Ok, I get that. My emails get kinda chatty.

10. You erroneously think Theodore Roosevelt is infallible and are offended by my opinions.

    Super-sensitive just like TR, huh?

11. Too many references to books, but you want to ban them all.

12. You can’t handle the typos. Even the typos expertly hidden under big, clunky arrows.

    That’s fair. I’m not peddling perfection.

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Spread inspired by Troy Senik’s A Man of Iron. Check out all of the typos I crammed onto one page! This is expert-level amateurism. 1. I’m blaming the first mistake on muscle memory. Usually, I follow “Fr” with “anklin”. Franklin Roosevelt, Franklin Pierce, Benjamin Franklin… 2. Damn it. 3. Augh, this one looked so cool in my head… until I had to jack the whole thing up leaving a letter out of “towards.” 4. Thank goodness for my white Gelly Roll pen. Masterful cover up. 5. OK, so I goofed and used the singular instead of plural. But that pales in comparison to the Federal government stripping women of voting rights. 6. This whole first doodle was supposed to fit on the previous spread… with the doodle of Frederick Douglass.