It only took a couple of sticky, sizzling days this spring for me to tire of summer. As I count down the weeks until I can wear pants, cozy sweatshirts, and thick socks again… I’ve gathered a list of hot things.

I’m kind of surprised by the POTUS who pops up the most here. Any guesses?

19 Hot Things

(Good, bad, and horrifying… in no particular order)

1 Rutherford B. Hayes circa 1840

Don’t take my word for it. Check out this daguerreotype.

While you’re at it, take a gander at The Presidents of the United States: When They Were Young and Hunky.

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2 bowels of the Regulators; June 19, 1771

Part 3 of Governor William Tryon’s 7-part plan to squash any rebellion: “bowels should be taken out and burned before his face.”

It’s crucial that step 3 happens before step 4: “That his head should be cut off.” Where’s the terror in burning someone’s bowels if they can’t see it… is a horrifying sentence that I can’t believe I just typed.

Nightmares fueled by The First Conspiracy: The Secret Plot to Kill George Washington by Brad Meltzer and Josh Mensch

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3 The Hudson Valley, Revolutionary War

Sticking with William Tryon … he crossed some lines while Provincial Major General commanding troops in New York and Connecticut. He directed his troops to target civilian buildings. They set houses, farms, and churches on fire, killed unarmed people, battled “women and children.” Even some British officers thought he went too far, but he was pardoned and helped with the war effort from afar.

Coincidentally, while reading about Tryon, I spent the day at Clermont State Historic Site (one of the Hudson Valley homes burned by the British) and (separately) received a sketchy $3 transaction on my credit card from a Tryon-something-or-other in North Carolina, despite not leaving New York State. Turns out, they have something to do with a parking lot near me. Weird, right?

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4 New York City, summer of 1876

Indoor temperatures reached 120 degrees. No air conditioning. No indoor refrigeration. The heat wave lasted for ten scorching days. In desperation, people would sleep on fire escapes… many (including children!) rolling off to their death. Thousands of horses rotted in the streets. Unimaginable horrors.

Ice baron and evil bastard Charles Morse consolidated small, independent ice companies into one giant company. He charged poor people more than rich people.

Enter Police Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt!

His personality sometimes rubs me the wrong way. In this case, it came in handy. Downright heroic. He took charge and gave free ice to the poor, supervising the distribution personally. (This is seriously fascinating. Read or listen to this interview with historian Edward Kohn. He wrote Hot Time in the Old Town: The Great Heat Wave of 1896 and the Making of Theodore Roosevelt, currently on my ever-growing list of books to read.)

PS If all this ice talk makes you think of the opening scene from Frozen — me, too!!

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5 Innovation

After President James Garfield was shot, the first air conditioner was invented by U.S. Navy engineers to keep him cool. It measured 20’ x 20’ x 18’ and used three tons of ice.

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6 The White House, 1814 & Christmas Eve 1929

During the War of 1812 but in 1814, the British burned the White House.
On Christmas Eve 1929, the Executive Offices were gutted during a fire. Presumably not by the British. Central air-conditioning was added when everything was fixed up.

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7 Skinny-dipping

What do JQA, TR, FDR, JFK, and LBJ all have in common, besides being identifiable by their initials? They all swam in their birthday suit!

*Only one of this quintet skinny-dipped with Billy Graham. That I know of. Any guesses?*

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8 Firefighters

Benjamin Franklin co-founded the “Bucket Brigade” (formally known as Union Fire Company), the first volunteer fire company in the country. (I stumbled on another great article about the history of firefighting that said he was also president of the United States, which I’m sure you know isn’t true. Liar, liar pants on fire. It’s a UK website, though, so I’ll give them a pass.)
James Buchanan carried the ladder for the Union Fire Company.
Thomas Jefferson sometimes gets some undeserved credit as a firefighter, but it doesn’t actually seem to be true.
George Washington was an active member of the Friendship Fire Company. Check out his fire engine!
JQA encouraged Bostonians to stop building wood houses and instead use brick and granite.

*I assume ‘mistris’ was spelled like that in his letter and not a typo on my part. But you never know.*

9 John Quincy Adams’ letters to Louisa

Warren G. Harding gets all the credit for his dirty poems. Did you know that John Quincy Adams sent some pretty naughty poems to Louisa? Ok, JQA just quoted other poets. And he sent them to his wife, not a random mistress / possible international spy. But still!

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10 Thermal pools, New Zealand

When Eleanor Roosevelt visited New Zealand, she marveled at the Māori’s use of thermal pools for cooking. “The corn on the cob is cooked in a small pool which is well over boiling temperature.”

(Rangitīaria Dennan joked about a mud pool, with big blobs boiling all over, “In America you would call it Congress pool, uh?” “And maybe we would,” Eleanor answered.)

*Inspired by* The First Lady of World War II: Eleanor Roosevelt's Daring Journey to the Frontlines and Back by Shannon McKenna Schmidt

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11 Albany, 1848

I didn’t even know about The Great Fire of 1848 until I read Booth by Karen Joy Fowler. (Highly recommend!) John Wilkes Booth’s father and brother were both in town at the time.

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12 Pamela Churchill’s love life

Gouverneur Morris had nothing on Winston Churchill’s former daughter-in-law’s steamy, unbelievable love life. (Though Pamela never lost a leg jumping out a window to avoid someone’s spouse, so I guess Morris has that going for him.)

I threw Morris in here because his love life was also famously epic. Coincidentally they have something else in common:

4th U.S. Minister to France: Gouverneur Morris

58th U.S. Minster to France: Pamela Harriman (previously known as Pamela Digby and Pamela Churchill)

Inspired by The Daughters of Yalta: The Churchills, Roosevelts, and Harrimans: A Story of Love and War, by Catherine Grace Katz

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13 Francisco Franco’s wrath when he didn’t get his way

According to art historian Gujs Van Hensbergen:

“For three hours, in wave after wave planes dropped a mixture of 250-kilogram ‘splinter’ bombs and ECBI thermite incendiary bombs. Designed to burn at 2500° C, transforming the city into an apocalyptic fireball. Those who managed to escape… were strafed from the air with machine-gun fire.”

That’s 4532° F.

He did this to his own people.

Inspired by When Harry Met Pablo: Truman, Picasso, and the Cold War Politics of Modern Art by Matthew Algeo

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14 [Hot] Dog Diplomacy …

FDR hosted the very first ever visit of a reigning British monarch to the United States. Roosevelt's mother was aghast that King George VI and Queen Elizabeth were served hot dogs. (Hot dog diplomacy!) 🌭

(During a Halloween drawing challenge last year, I drew a “weenie for the Queenie” to go with the drawing prompt “Halloweenie.” I imagine Roosevelt’s mother wouldn’t approve of this doodle, either.)

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15 Overabundance of committees (see also: hot mess)

Congress created an abundance of committees. Their committees had committees (seriously… committees to fix up other committees). It was a hot mess. It was slow with lots of turnover ("which sapped the body of institutional knowledge"), which didn’t help matters. Robert Livingston proposed streamlining the madness, with new executive departments led by one secretary. He became the Secretary of Foreign Affairs.

*Inspired by* The Cabinet: George Washington and the Creation of an American Institution by Lindsay M Chervinsky

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16 The Peacemaker, February 1844

As it’s name obviously implies, The Peacemaker was a big-ass-long-range-wrought-iron gun. Loaded with a mixture of 1 part gunpowder and 3 parts testosterone, probably. Several hundred fancy and important people were aboard USS Princeton to witness the firing of The Peacemaker. It exploded, killing a bunch of people … including President John Tyler’s Secretary of the Navy, the Secretary of State, an enslaved man, and Senator Gardiner.

Also hot? The romance that started brewing on board between newly-widowed 54-year-old President John Tyler and the aforementioned newly-deceased Senator Gardiner’s 22-year-old gorgeous daughter. Typical meet-cute. Surprised there isn’t a rom-com based on this.

Doodle inspired by John Quincy Adams: A Public Life, a Private Life by Paul C. Nagel.

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17 John Quincy Adam’s face and hands

JQA may have passed up on “opportunity” to witness The Peacemaker demonstration, but that’s ok. He hosted his own private macho explosion! While showing his sons how to be more manly, he lit his gun on fire, scalded his hand, and hurt his eyes. (Not on purpose.) Then he whined about how much that (and the medicinal leeches) hurt his poow widdle face.